The People at the Gaming Table

I've read a lot of blogs, forum posts, and website diatribes about gaming styles and gaming personalities.  I generally laughed at the funny quotes or nodded when a certain type of player was mentioned.  But something that doesn't often get mentioned in these discussions is the personality of the player when everyone's sitting around before or after the game. What about the personality of the player outside of the game?

See, this is tough to discuss because it will end up hurting some feelings but I think that this is something we need to discuss.  I would like to think we could discuss it in a mature and open manner without stepping on toes...but I'm not sure I can do that.  In many ways, we're all a little thin-skinned when it comes to people talking about us and our foibles.  Especially if this discussion is viewed as happening "behind our back". 

So, what started this?  Well the game last Friday did.  First off, the email list has about 8 guys on it.  I sent out  a request almost two weeks ahead of time asking for folks to check their calendars as well as give feedback on what to play.  I get three responses in a day or two....and nothing for nearly a week.  I throw out an option to playtest 5th ed.  I get diatribes about how awful 5e sounds, and two more who respond in the negative about attendance.  When game time rolls around, I have 3 live bodies and one chat.  As we're just talking and shooting the breeze, one player makes a bigoted remark.....not just borderline slur, outright bigoted remark.  I'm stunned and point out how disrespectful the comment was.  His response was "but it's true".  After what feels like 10 minutes of verbal exchange in which I demonstrate how wrong he is and how weak his arguments are, I notice that I'm the only one fighting this battle.  I look to the other folks present and I get no support.  Now, they don't throw me under the bus...just leave me hanging.  And that just took all the wind from my sails.  I didn't want to play anymore...not with them.  I'm very disappointed.  And I'm not sure what to do next.  I would like to believe that I wasn't the problem there.  I would like to believe that I stood up for what is right when I pointed out a slur and how horrible it was.   I would like to think that I'm a good person and though I don't proselytize I would like to think I'm a good example of a Christian.  Maybe I'm mistaken.  I'm going to have to spend some more time thinking this one over.  I don't think I want to play with this group for a little while until I get this figured out.